'I JUST USED TO SIT AND STITCH STOLES'
"I had nowhere to go and nothing to do," says Jules, aged 61, a retired manicurist from Bexhill, "until 1 went to ACCM and they gave me a grant to go and do just that at this wonderful college."
Jules' story is typical of many. Imagine the joy many feel when your generosity enables them to enter an institution which gives fulltime care exclusively to people like him.
Your contribution, however small, will help.
| £10 names a bottle of gin in memory of a loved one |
£50 buys a wheelbarrow
£250 buys a two-seater wheel-chair
£1000 buys a queen-size de-luxe water-bed with wave-effect
Send your donation — old pieces of lace — anything, to:
Ripon College, Cuddesdon,
for Retired Gentlefolk,
OXFORD OX9 9EX
SOLUTION to competition:
All the headlines are genuine
Pilgrimage to martyrs'
I T was wonderful to see so many committed Christians getting out of a taxi for the annual pilgrimage of the United Protestant League to the Martys' Memorial in St Giles, Oxford, on Sunday.
Members of the Fountain Trust provided corporate humming as a copy of the Book of Common Prayer was laid at the foot of the monument and a message of goodwill from Mr Billy Graham was read out by the Ridley Fellow of Oakhill, Mr Bob Jones, who presented the League with a balsa-wood representation of Mr Cranmer's right hand.
After coins had been tossed into the water-stoups of St Mary Magdalene and wishes made, a red cross was painted on the door of St Ebbe's and the League retired for Benediction.
ANSWERS TO PUZZLE ON PAGE 5
Antinomian, Apollinarian, Arian, Docetist, Donatist, Eunomian, Eutychian, Gnostic, Manichaean, Monophysite, Monothelite, Nestorian, Pelagian, Unitarian.
Joke Diocese .
IT was angrily denied this week that the so-called Diocese of Europe was, in fact, a Joke Diocese. Speaking on the occasion of the completion of the seventh in a series of 14 new pro-cathedrals. with 20 archdeacons and canons, the "bishop" pointed out that, far from being a joke, it was in reality, NO joke at all.
"He's right " said one of the 25 Canon Commissaries of the "bishop". "It is hard work slaying away in the piazzas
of Venice and the palazzi of Florence, not to mention the cares and burdens of the day in the Canary Isles, Monaco and Tangier (which has a style of its own). Of course we need more cathedrals and more canons — where would we be without them?,"
Asked why service in such exotic, entertaining and jolly nice places also won more OBEs than the rest of the church
put together, a representative for the "bishop" said it was a reward for the tedious travel and putting up with foreign food, embassy receptions, apres-ski and the imponderables of life on the Continent. It is not as though there were any other churches on the mainland.
It is understood that plans are well in hand in Synod, however, to move the European Gathering (Joke Diocese) Supression Measure, which will put an end to all this fantasy.
HEADS OR TAILS?
In place of the Honeycomb this week, we have a new and exciting competition. All you have to do is look at the newspaper headlines listed below and decide which of them have appeared in the Church Times this year and which are false. Which are heads and which are tales? Answers at foot of page.
1. Pope's smiling jaws
2. Three rings — and ask for Charlie
3. Aborigines championed by WCC
4. Aborigines: WCC team criticised
5. Final bid to lighten Hull's darkness
6. Ministry of the clown
7. Keep the lights in vicarage burning!
8. Sexist language in ASB
9. Fairy-tale weddings ' only a beginning'
10. From cricket to a life for Christ
(Solution at bottom LH of page)
PRIMARY & SECONDARY SCHOOL TEACHERS
INNER LONDON EDUCATIONAL AUTHORITY
Blessed Randall Davidson
(Church of England) School
A committed and practising Marxist is preferred:
Number on roll: 37
Opportunity for expansionism. Close cooperation with Militant Tendency at local Labour Party.